in/out are the same

as usual i slept at almost 4am... things went wrong from day to day...i need to wake up early as i have plants 4 an outing wit zura-qim-aina-ein...

my sis waked me "ila jam brapa ko jln?'
me reply (mamai tym tu) "10.30 eh..11.00..mmmm"

then...my abah "ila jam 11 ka jln? dg sepa?boyfren?"
me says(still mamai) "ya....ndak"
abah "ko kemas dapur tu dlu r, abah sdh msk air"
me "mmmmmm...."

not like usual, if i'd been waked early, i will sleep back...but this tym, i cant....my eyes fresh...i dunno y...it feels like, sleep is not part of me anymore....im afraid to sleep...tym passes without noticing it, when we got too much sleep...mayb thats why.... i go downstairs n doing all the chores b4 i wanna go out...ita still 9am... i want 0n9 n have a look on my fb 4 a while.... my heart doesnt feel good...very lazy to go out... but promise must b keep... i have to go.... me n others lepak 4 a while at habeeb... very hungry bcoz i havent ate aything since yesterday... no appetite at all... just order the roti canai n horlicks ping, but things gone wrong again, i only finished half of the roti canai..... again, my patient towards myself tested.... why???? why??? i cant stop myself from thinking ooo.... then, we went to education fair at Sabah hotel.... quite interesting...but its the same like tawau previously.... quite interested on SEGi College... nice promotion given.... having fun kidnapping brochure here n there....

went back home, myself being tested again, but now involving the condition n environment... the hot weather makes me really uncomfortable, went back home, with hope to get a nice rest 4 a while... but everything seems wrong, noises, anger, shouting n madness filled the atmosphere... being stress n having conflicts on myself plus the unpeaceful condition....making me crazy!!!! i can control myself... high voice unpurposely shouted.... argh!!!! why??? im hungry, but no apettite to eat, im sleepy but i cant sleep, small things easily making me mad....god really tested me this time.....

p/s: ive read a quotation b4,

"the most successful person is actually being tested with many things by
god b4 they really turned out successful......"

yes....i believe on it, n im hoping soo......

ya allah kau berikanlah aku kekuatan, kesabaran dan petunjuk dlm mnjalani kehidupan yg kian mencabar... andainya ini bagi membuktikan ketabahanku, keimananku dan kesabarnku terhadapMu...aku terima dgn redha.......kau berikanlah aku yg terbaik......aku memohon petunjuk dan hidayahmu....